He's Cute. He's Small. He's Brave! He Won!!!

I had decided that I would regularly post at least one post per month. But things turned out to be very different. The past 2 to 3 months has not been too well for me. Was going through all shades of emotion every other day and the most repeated has been a lot of surprises and agony.

We discovered in May that my wife was in the family way and that we were not mentally prepared to have a third child (first a son and second a daughter). Me and my wife discussed in length about the prospect of the third child in the family and decided to consult a doctor. So, one fine evening, we got ready and met with the doctor who advised a scan and we realized that the baby has already crossed 4 months. Shocked and Surprised!

The next big news was that there was an anomaly, severe oligohydraminos, a condition were the amniotic fluid which surrounds the baby was acutely less that it is difficult for the foetus to survive. Shocked! Okay now what is the course forward... the next was a bigger shocker of all. No external intervention is possible as   my wife's health will not permit and allow the foetus to continue to grow, the risk being deformation, stunted organ growth, brain doesn't grow and lot many complications which I can't recollect as those were too difficult to take in so I shut my ears (mentally) not to listen afterwards. Shocked! Shocked to death!!

The days following has been excruciatingly painful. Hospitalizations, kids sent away to be taken care by relatives, work, Oh God.... Yes, God!!! This is the time when I really got connected well to the faith I had in Him. To our great surprise we were observing some healthy movements of the baby. Every day we used to talk to the baby encouraging it. The baby used to respond by a slight movement whenever we speak to it. Surprise and elated!!

My wife was now 7 months through her pregnancy and suddenly one Saturday, she called me from her brother's house (I had sent her there to be taken care of as there was no one at our place to attend to her). She said she has a strange pain she has not experienced before. Worried we decided we will immediately go to the hospital. I was worried, she was worried and so was every one. Once admitted to a nearby hospital we were informed that they were not equipped to handle a pre-term delivery. What!? Wait a second, did they really mean 'PRE-TERM DELIVERY'. We had to immediately rush in the noon to another hospital which is well known and is managed by the Central Government of India (Jawaharlal Institute of Post Graduate Medical Education and Research, JIPMER).

Guys let me tell you, that was the first time for me when I was with my wife for the delivery. I was not around when the first two kids were born. Just couldn't understand what was happening.

Saturday evening - nothing happened, slept the night in the car in the parking lot. Sunday morning - nothing happened, spent the morning under the trees in the campus. Couldn't wait, so checked with the nurse to ask what's the status, and was informed, the wife is alright and nothing expected as of now. So decided to step out and take a shower and come back. Instead of a shower I slept and suddenly at around 12:15 in the noon, my wife's sister-in-law who was in the hospital waiting outside the maternity ward, called and was shouting, my wife has delivered a baby boy! And it was a NORMAL DELIVERY!!!! Shocked!!! Surprised!!! Disbelief!!! Confused!!! ha ha, what not I was going through. The previous two deliveries were through C-section, and many who heard didn't believe me what I told.

Didn't remember what happened next, and all I can recollect is that I was furiously walking in the corridor of the ward waiting to have a look at the baby and later learnt that he was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). It was a 10 day's wait for both me and my wife before we could have a glimpse of the kid. He is home now and we are a happier lot having him around. All is well except for some minor medical attentions that needs to be be observed and treated.

I look back now the journey I have been through the past few months, and all I can tell you guys about the little fellow is - He's Cute. He's Small. He's Brave! He Won!!!

We have named the little one ASHISH KIRUBA.

He taught us how to survive and how to have faith. He is a darling for me, my wife, his brother and sister. Me, my elder son and my daughter have written a 'Darling Anthem' for the little one and we sing to him everyday. He responds with a smile.

I have personally learnt a lot through this experience, and I see myself as a man transformed than before. I am more calm now than I used to be, I am not afraid as I used to, there's more love than it was in me.

Do share this post with your friends if you ever come across this. Have a rewarding life ahead.

(No photos now. Will share after some time.)

Love, like before

I had planned to write this piece to coincide with my wedding day but there were other things in my mind. Finally and now I decided to pen my thoughts. As is becoming my style of weaving my opinions using my favorite advertisements, this post will also take help of two good pieces of creative showcase.

Married and committed since 2005, life has been very rewarding. Yeah, there were great highs and really deep lows, nevertheless the experience I have been through, when I now look back I wonder how have I traveled so far. Every now and then I remind myself that I am a father of two. Yeah, got two lovely and  wonderful kids. Am a bit choosy type, who will go to great lengths when I feel a sync of brain waves in any relationship. When the frequency doesn't match, I at times, in spite of trying hard to be polite,... [guess].

It was one of the evening, one of the few evenings when I was emotionally drained due to small [big] misunderstanding with my wife, this time I would accept mostly because of my stupid actions, was driving home back from my office. It was around 10:00 pm, late due to some demanding task that had no compromise deadline, and I decided to take a round about route to my home. Was looking back at every past incident where I ended up sore due to misunderstandings between me and my wife. People, if you are married or committed in a relationship, I guess you realize how it hurts. oh yeah, my mind tape played back how hurting it was, every time. I wanted to come out of the gloomy frame of mind and really wanted never to again go through similar experience where I hurt myself and hurt my loved one.

There was a calm, I had switched on my car's AC even when it was decently cool outside but still wanted to create a private space of a more cooler atmosphere, that suddenly crawled in to me. I felt little weightless, a feeling that there was nothing to think about, not to worry, a sudden realization that nothing is wrong, everything was pretty much in control, I was in control, and ALL IS WELL! It was really strange. I thought to myself, did I find an answer to my worries and a way around to navigate hurt emotions.

Yeah, I did. And the answer my friend is what I have written as the title of this blog. I heard myself saying, sitting in my car by the side of the road, 'LOVE, LIKE BEFORE!'. There was excitement, an enlightened feeling, suddenly I was happy, there was joy and my heart was merry. Yeah, 'LOVE, LIKE BEFORE!'. Oh man, yeah! Just watch the below ads and then read on. You will understand what I mean.

Ad showcase 1: Cadbury Dairy Milk... A wow ad. Just love the affection the couple show for each other, the little disappointment and the patching up. As usual Ogilvy guys rock. What a concept and execution.

Ad showcase 2: Flipkart... An amazing ad, even more wonderfully executed. I just love the expression the girl gives when the boy reveals he wants to gift her a 'doll house'. I would have seen this ad a thousand time by now. Good work Happy Creative Services. (psssttt... the newer TVCs for flipkart is not as exciting as the first ones)

It was a realization of how well the relation was before and immediately after my marriage. Everything was happy. We both were finding every way to please each other, to make each other happy, surprises - pleasant surprises, phone calls, lovely SMSs and many a ton of small little things we were excited about and were never tired of the silly things we did. There was profound joy in repetitions, innovation - in conveying the affection we had for each other. There was competition, real competition to show who expresses the affection the most. It was healthy. It was joy.


We still are the same beings, the same individuals who did all those small little things that gave us happiness and was wondering what was lost. That's when it dawned on me that we 'CHOSE' to compromise on those small activities that gave us happiness. We got tired of repetition. We became conscious of the silly things we did, but forgot how much rewarding they were.

I went home, and told my wife how much I love her and how happy I feel when she is around. I did it really. I made up my mind that every morning I would go and tell her its a wonderful day and she's lovely. And, I started from then, and really do it now [I should admit I occasionally miss it, just consider 'men being men']. But am happy I started somewhere.

Hey you there, what I chose to do didn't demand more than a minute of my day. I realized how easy it is now to go back to the old ways of doing small little things that gave me happiness, real happiness. I chose that small little act that would charge me and my loved one for the rest of the day. It's not that there are no difference of opinions between us, it does, but now I have found a way not to hurt myself and my loved one. It doesn't last even for few hours. Its a start that I have made. You could also make it. It helps, you are helping yourselves to a sumptuous dose of joy.

What I realized, I think would help those few of you who think you want a change. A positive change. I have applied this in my personal and well as professional life. It has rewarded me, and hope you will also find it rewarding. Its just a small thing you are going to restart doing, and you needn't invest more from your 'so called busy' schedule. It is never a hard task to go back to old days. And, interestingly, it doesn't cost you much, and definitely it doesn't burn your purse.

Love, life, work, friends, parents, pets... whatever.. LOVE, LIKE BEFORE!

(This post is dedicated to my wife who had inspired me to pen these thoughts)

Yo! Competition, I love Thee

Of all the people around you, in my opinion it is your competition that you should be loving the most.. Why? The answer is very obvious. If not for competition you would not be doing your best and you would never ever be creative and innovate. Bless the competition he 'drives' you to do what you would not be doing if you were not challenged.

I would like to tweak a well known and used phrase a little: "Behind Every Successful Man There Is A Woman"; "Behind every successful man there is a competitor" - competitor could be of any form which I don't want to discuss about as that is not what I intend to. Respect and love your competition, he brings the strength, the creativity and the innovative spirit that is within you. Every time you make a move he pushes the bar some more, when you are ahead he tries to reach you. In this journey you have together established and achieved so much between you. What a wonderful journey it is. Savor the struggle, the sleepless nights and the fire in the belly your carry to outsmart the other.

I would like to relate this opinion of mine with two from my list of favorite ad campaigns. Enjoy watching while you read my version of the commentary to these ads.

Truly, "YO! COMPETITION, I LOVE THEE"

1. Center Fruit jugalbandi concept created by Ogilvy India (Ogilvy - you guys rock!): Every time I see this ad, I just can't stop laughter looking at the attitude those to main characters exhibit. I just love the way the singer every time tries to get in between to find a winning way but fails. His expressions really says the psychological pressure he goes through trying to prove his talent. And, the tabla maestro is a cracker, who shows absolute confidence in everything he does right from the first beat and reaches the top when he uses a comb while playing the tabla in one hand. Man! What an idea! I do not know what the Ogilvy guys had in mind when they created the script of the ad, but I see it so pleasantly and creatively showcasing the beauty of competition. The struggle, the agony, the attitude and the satisfaction - every emotion so hilariously showcased. (Don't miss out to watch the reactions of the people in the group - equally hilarious as it portrays the different characters within an organization and how they contribute)

 

 

2. The second showcase I want to relate to the topic is the TVS Wego ad by BBH India. An absolutely fantastic ad campaign which shows creativity in a high risk scenario. Again the attitude the female leads show is so wonderful. The confidence in the two in doing absolutely crazy things while riding pinion is awesome. Watch out the 'third hand' which comes touching the rider of the black scooter (excellent comic piece). The ultimate is the last stunt. I hurt my stomach laughing every time I see the last bit of the competition. The ad was created to exemplify the 'body balance' factor of the scooter, but for me I enjoyed it the way how two competitors actually work bringing out every ounce of creative energy to be the winner.

 

[I was actually planning to write a post on love and affection but this topic outsmarted it.. :o)]. If you wish to comment on this post, please feel free to share it.

Why I started writing a blog?

When I look back at my life especially the relationship with my dad, for most part of it I can only recollect clash of opinions. Oh don’t mistake me I have a huge affection towards him and he is one of the persons I admire. However I do not express it that much. It has always happened that the way I see this world and his take on it varies so different from each other that any discussion ends on a sore note. Partly because I lose my patience and assert how things should be seen. Who’s right or who’s wrong is not the matter but it is about two conflicting interests. While I think I completely understand his line of thought the rebel in me has never accepted it and has always stuck to my stand and how I see the world.

It is natural that no two people’s interests and lines of thoughts always align. And I am not the first person on the earth who has this problem. Every man on this earth will have one or the other story about the relationship with his father. And there are sons who have adored their fathers and throughout their lives had been very affectionate to them.

One may be thinking that what does this have any relation to the title of this blog? It has.

I had recently completed reading Steve Jobs’ biography by Walter Isaacson. It was so interesting to see through the life of a successful person who had built a huge fortune and has given this word those wonderful products ¬– the Mac, the iconic iPod, iphone and the iPads. He had his problems with many of his relationships in life. He just couldn’t fit himself with many because of his binary vision of this world. Either something or someone is good or ugly. There was no mediocre or a ‘chalta hai’ version of person or thing in his life. It was so interesting to read his biography on how he viewed things and his quest to give the world products which give a truly great experience. It would have been very difficult for his colleagues and friends to have managed him but under that I was moved by the soul that thirsted for something which was unique, is not a clutter and is pure. May be this thirst for purity in anything he saw made him a rebel and a difficult customer. But I loved the beauty with which he found his way through to create something unique no one has ever thought about.

There are some aspects of his thoughts which I think I also have especially his belief in the Bauhaus philosophy of ‘Less is more’. I have an aversion towards anything that is a clutter, any aspect of product which is there with no value to the user, any communication that speaks more than what it has to etc. I have had my own share of friction with many (including my wife who thinks I am stupid and lack taste because I choose dresses for my kids which are very simple and I always think they look great in them), but I don’t regret because everyone has his own right to be himself and I am just being myself.

My favorite portion of Steve Jobs’ biography is actually towards the end of the book, page 556, where Jobs tells the author on why he had asked him to write the biography. I was disturbed and moved by those words and realized how true those were. To quote from the book, with all due diligence to the writer and the publisher:
“I wanted my kids to know me”, he said. “I wasn’t always there for them, and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did. Also, when I got sick, I realized other people would write about me if I died, and they wouldn’t know anything. They’d get it all wrong. So I wanted to make sure someone heard what I had to say.”

This started a very strong thought process in me and I realized how true those words were. I started to recollect my relationship with my dad and how every discussion we start ends up in a very sore note. And, most often it is me who would inflict a wound. Also in relationships, I have always had problems in expressing my actual feeling towards the person and when I attempt I make a mess of it.

These thoughts really stared at me looking through my eyes and shouted ‘how do you expect your son and daughter understand you?’ I started to understand the term ‘generation gap’. Yes, I can’t discuss with a 5 year old (my son) and a 3 year old (my daughter) on how I view things in this world and why I like something in a particular way and why clutter beats the shit out of me and I get confused!

I had a strong urge in me that I have to leave behind something which should speak to my kids when I am not around. It has to be my own voice – I am not that great yet for someone to write my biography (ha ha). I have to let myself open to them so that when they are at an age when they discern between relationships, they know me better. I can see that my kids would not have the same way of thinking I have and I am quite prepared for that. My son or daughter would one day tell me how my view of this world is so skewed and wrong. How I always do not understand things. How my taste and choice of things suck! It’s alright history is just going to repeat itself and this time I am going to be at the receiving end.

So, I am going to write whatever I think about anything the way I see it – unaltered. I know that someday, my kids will have a chance to read my blog and know why I was the way I was!!!

This post is dedicated to my son and daughter who haven’t learned yet how to read. When they do read, I just hope they enjoy.

Inspiration from an Unconventional Source

How many of us are ever alert to what we learn in everyday life?

Have you ever attended those corporate workshops where sitting in an air conditioned room we were trained on 'Team building', 'Account Planning', 'Problem Solving', 'How to motivate team members', 'Lead by example', and many 'what not's'.

Hey there, don't catch me wrong, those are useful! I have benefited myself from few of those and this post of is to never undermine such training. Training sessions are good (!) and are useful (if one is willing to learn).

I wanted to narrate, a true life experience I had few years ago when I was in college. I did my college in Chennai and on every alternate weekend I used to come to Pondicherry which is my native and where my parents stayed. It was a lovely Sunday morning. It so happened that the sandals that I use tore at one of the joints and I had to mend it. I could have bought a new one, but you see, things that are closer to heart one would try every means to retain it. (By the way this sandal of mine I considered lucky cos as I had some life changing events after I bought it, ah its a different story!)

As I went in search of a cobbler who could repair the sandals for me, not far from my home to my relief, I found one (since it was a Sunday I doubted if anyone would be there). I went to him. He didn't look at my face but all his attention was at my feet, my footwear was okay! Puzzled, he now looked at my face. I am the customer, so I am the king at the moment. With all pride I asked 'how much do take to mend a torn joint of a sandal?'. The cobbler retorted, 'Only if you show me the damage will I be able to tell you'. Yeah I felt like an idiot. Showed him only that sandal which was safely hidden in the bag I was carrying and he asked for Rs. 7 and the bargain started I was willing to pay only 5 rupees as it was only one place which was to be corrected.

He relented. Victory!! Still I was very curious on how he would approach the job. He pulled out the joint which needed mending and was pulling with some force other places also. I was imagining he was trying to break open any of the other places and charge me more. To my shock one place relented and needed some attention. However I decided that when he would confront me I will refuse as that it was because he pulled out with force and that I would not pay him.

The two damages were corrected and properly glued. Now the sandal is ready and I was getting myself ready for the duel. He dropped the sandal on the floor and asked me "Where's the other one?". I am smart aint' I!! :) I said, "No that's is alright, it doesn't need any work to be done". The cobbler said, "Just give me, I will not charge you anything for just checking it". I felt something fishy about that but still wanted to see what he would do. I took out the other one from the bag and handed it to him. Like with the earlier sandal he pulled all the joints and was checking. One point seemed a little loose and he opened the sole a little bit, applied the glue and pasted it well. Now checked both the sandals and was quite contended with the work he has done and handed over them to me.

Oh yeah, I was fully ready now. As I was fiddling with my pocket to take the changes out and was waiting for the cobbler to speak to me. Yeah he did.. "You guys spend on so much other things, but to give 2 rupees extra you fuss a lot". That's all he said. He didn't ask for more. What!? In those minutes I re-run in my mind the way he had approached his job, the care, the concentration and his determination that whatever he is paid he would go ahead doing it in the best way. It taught me a lesson I would remember for the rest of my life..

At last when I had taken out the change, I gave him 10 rupees as I was overwhelmed by what I learned in those few minutes. The cobbler was rightly surprised, I said that he deserves for the work he has done.
I would not have had this lesson in any other better way.

While I was a trainer during the start of my career, I had to handle fresh college graduates. It takes a while to bring them to the ground and help them understand what it would take for them to understand the seriousness of starting a career. As I was handling trainees who would eventually become Quality Controllers, it is really a difficult job to orient a young mind on the difficult aspects of QC procedures. I narrated this experience of mine to all the batches I took and challenged them in a way on their approach to Quality. Few became emotional, few just appreciated and a very few gave a serious thought on what I was trying to convey. Those few who gave some thought on the message did really grew in their career and I saw them growing. I am satisfied and happy for those few minds who took this message and imbibed in their work.

If you have come across this blog post by any means, don't think I am trying to preach how to approach your job. All I am trying to tell you is that "BE ALERT". Life's lessons may come from any corner of the world. The vigilant reaps many. Have a wonderful time ahead.