He's Cute. He's Small. He's Brave! He Won!!!

I had decided that I would regularly post at least one post per month. But things turned out to be very different. The past 2 to 3 months has not been too well for me. Was going through all shades of emotion every other day and the most repeated has been a lot of surprises and agony.

We discovered in May that my wife was in the family way and that we were not mentally prepared to have a third child (first a son and second a daughter). Me and my wife discussed in length about the prospect of the third child in the family and decided to consult a doctor. So, one fine evening, we got ready and met with the doctor who advised a scan and we realized that the baby has already crossed 4 months. Shocked and Surprised!

The next big news was that there was an anomaly, severe oligohydraminos, a condition were the amniotic fluid which surrounds the baby was acutely less that it is difficult for the foetus to survive. Shocked! Okay now what is the course forward... the next was a bigger shocker of all. No external intervention is possible as   my wife's health will not permit and allow the foetus to continue to grow, the risk being deformation, stunted organ growth, brain doesn't grow and lot many complications which I can't recollect as those were too difficult to take in so I shut my ears (mentally) not to listen afterwards. Shocked! Shocked to death!!

The days following has been excruciatingly painful. Hospitalizations, kids sent away to be taken care by relatives, work, Oh God.... Yes, God!!! This is the time when I really got connected well to the faith I had in Him. To our great surprise we were observing some healthy movements of the baby. Every day we used to talk to the baby encouraging it. The baby used to respond by a slight movement whenever we speak to it. Surprise and elated!!

My wife was now 7 months through her pregnancy and suddenly one Saturday, she called me from her brother's house (I had sent her there to be taken care of as there was no one at our place to attend to her). She said she has a strange pain she has not experienced before. Worried we decided we will immediately go to the hospital. I was worried, she was worried and so was every one. Once admitted to a nearby hospital we were informed that they were not equipped to handle a pre-term delivery. What!? Wait a second, did they really mean 'PRE-TERM DELIVERY'. We had to immediately rush in the noon to another hospital which is well known and is managed by the Central Government of India (Jawaharlal Institute of Post Graduate Medical Education and Research, JIPMER).

Guys let me tell you, that was the first time for me when I was with my wife for the delivery. I was not around when the first two kids were born. Just couldn't understand what was happening.

Saturday evening - nothing happened, slept the night in the car in the parking lot. Sunday morning - nothing happened, spent the morning under the trees in the campus. Couldn't wait, so checked with the nurse to ask what's the status, and was informed, the wife is alright and nothing expected as of now. So decided to step out and take a shower and come back. Instead of a shower I slept and suddenly at around 12:15 in the noon, my wife's sister-in-law who was in the hospital waiting outside the maternity ward, called and was shouting, my wife has delivered a baby boy! And it was a NORMAL DELIVERY!!!! Shocked!!! Surprised!!! Disbelief!!! Confused!!! ha ha, what not I was going through. The previous two deliveries were through C-section, and many who heard didn't believe me what I told.

Didn't remember what happened next, and all I can recollect is that I was furiously walking in the corridor of the ward waiting to have a look at the baby and later learnt that he was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). It was a 10 day's wait for both me and my wife before we could have a glimpse of the kid. He is home now and we are a happier lot having him around. All is well except for some minor medical attentions that needs to be be observed and treated.

I look back now the journey I have been through the past few months, and all I can tell you guys about the little fellow is - He's Cute. He's Small. He's Brave! He Won!!!

We have named the little one ASHISH KIRUBA.

He taught us how to survive and how to have faith. He is a darling for me, my wife, his brother and sister. Me, my elder son and my daughter have written a 'Darling Anthem' for the little one and we sing to him everyday. He responds with a smile.

I have personally learnt a lot through this experience, and I see myself as a man transformed than before. I am more calm now than I used to be, I am not afraid as I used to, there's more love than it was in me.

Do share this post with your friends if you ever come across this. Have a rewarding life ahead.

(No photos now. Will share after some time.)

Love, like before

I had planned to write this piece to coincide with my wedding day but there were other things in my mind. Finally and now I decided to pen my thoughts. As is becoming my style of weaving my opinions using my favorite advertisements, this post will also take help of two good pieces of creative showcase.

Married and committed since 2005, life has been very rewarding. Yeah, there were great highs and really deep lows, nevertheless the experience I have been through, when I now look back I wonder how have I traveled so far. Every now and then I remind myself that I am a father of two. Yeah, got two lovely and  wonderful kids. Am a bit choosy type, who will go to great lengths when I feel a sync of brain waves in any relationship. When the frequency doesn't match, I at times, in spite of trying hard to be polite,... [guess].

It was one of the evening, one of the few evenings when I was emotionally drained due to small [big] misunderstanding with my wife, this time I would accept mostly because of my stupid actions, was driving home back from my office. It was around 10:00 pm, late due to some demanding task that had no compromise deadline, and I decided to take a round about route to my home. Was looking back at every past incident where I ended up sore due to misunderstandings between me and my wife. People, if you are married or committed in a relationship, I guess you realize how it hurts. oh yeah, my mind tape played back how hurting it was, every time. I wanted to come out of the gloomy frame of mind and really wanted never to again go through similar experience where I hurt myself and hurt my loved one.

There was a calm, I had switched on my car's AC even when it was decently cool outside but still wanted to create a private space of a more cooler atmosphere, that suddenly crawled in to me. I felt little weightless, a feeling that there was nothing to think about, not to worry, a sudden realization that nothing is wrong, everything was pretty much in control, I was in control, and ALL IS WELL! It was really strange. I thought to myself, did I find an answer to my worries and a way around to navigate hurt emotions.

Yeah, I did. And the answer my friend is what I have written as the title of this blog. I heard myself saying, sitting in my car by the side of the road, 'LOVE, LIKE BEFORE!'. There was excitement, an enlightened feeling, suddenly I was happy, there was joy and my heart was merry. Yeah, 'LOVE, LIKE BEFORE!'. Oh man, yeah! Just watch the below ads and then read on. You will understand what I mean.

Ad showcase 1: Cadbury Dairy Milk... A wow ad. Just love the affection the couple show for each other, the little disappointment and the patching up. As usual Ogilvy guys rock. What a concept and execution.

Ad showcase 2: Flipkart... An amazing ad, even more wonderfully executed. I just love the expression the girl gives when the boy reveals he wants to gift her a 'doll house'. I would have seen this ad a thousand time by now. Good work Happy Creative Services. (psssttt... the newer TVCs for flipkart is not as exciting as the first ones)

It was a realization of how well the relation was before and immediately after my marriage. Everything was happy. We both were finding every way to please each other, to make each other happy, surprises - pleasant surprises, phone calls, lovely SMSs and many a ton of small little things we were excited about and were never tired of the silly things we did. There was profound joy in repetitions, innovation - in conveying the affection we had for each other. There was competition, real competition to show who expresses the affection the most. It was healthy. It was joy.


We still are the same beings, the same individuals who did all those small little things that gave us happiness and was wondering what was lost. That's when it dawned on me that we 'CHOSE' to compromise on those small activities that gave us happiness. We got tired of repetition. We became conscious of the silly things we did, but forgot how much rewarding they were.

I went home, and told my wife how much I love her and how happy I feel when she is around. I did it really. I made up my mind that every morning I would go and tell her its a wonderful day and she's lovely. And, I started from then, and really do it now [I should admit I occasionally miss it, just consider 'men being men']. But am happy I started somewhere.

Hey you there, what I chose to do didn't demand more than a minute of my day. I realized how easy it is now to go back to the old ways of doing small little things that gave me happiness, real happiness. I chose that small little act that would charge me and my loved one for the rest of the day. It's not that there are no difference of opinions between us, it does, but now I have found a way not to hurt myself and my loved one. It doesn't last even for few hours. Its a start that I have made. You could also make it. It helps, you are helping yourselves to a sumptuous dose of joy.

What I realized, I think would help those few of you who think you want a change. A positive change. I have applied this in my personal and well as professional life. It has rewarded me, and hope you will also find it rewarding. Its just a small thing you are going to restart doing, and you needn't invest more from your 'so called busy' schedule. It is never a hard task to go back to old days. And, interestingly, it doesn't cost you much, and definitely it doesn't burn your purse.

Love, life, work, friends, parents, pets... whatever.. LOVE, LIKE BEFORE!

(This post is dedicated to my wife who had inspired me to pen these thoughts)